I can understand how you feel about the intense light show. You need to get yourself a pair of official UM sunnies to protect your eyes from the madness. The lights are very intense and the music is equally intense. The whole UM experience pushes your brain to the limit of what it can handle. I begun describing it as assault music to first timers. I compare it to seeing Ween play live. Ween and Umphrey's play a super hard, "in your face" style of show and it makes SOME people want to leave and never come back. Those who stay are the true fans and will continue to get blasted by some of the best music you'll get a chance to hear. Don't give up on UM after seeing just one show. Every show is different and your experiences will change!
WILLIE THE PIMP! Wish I was able to hear that, one of my favorite Zappa tunes.
P.S I love allthingsumphreys!